©️ Opeyemi Ojerinde Akintunde

I walked back towards my new home with a beautiful smile. I didn’t have money on me to buy the rat poison, so I planned on getting home and asking Julius for some money in a very calm way.

To my utmost surprise, I met my mother at my home already. She was sitting and shaking her legs in anxiety, while Julius and his sisters were seated too, waiting for me to return.

I must have walked for 2 hours. Julius and his sisters were not aware I had been at the house earlier so I didn’t want to give myself away so easily. I gave a generous smile to everyone in the room…

“ I know that smile, it is very fake” She said as she pulled me out of the house…

“ What smile? I am happy to see you, is that bad?” I said to my mother…

“ You can pretend to everyone else, but not to me, we are going to see your doctor, before you do what you will regret…” She said pulling me to her car

Julius stepped out to join us

“ Mum, what is wrong?You came here asking of her frantically, now you can see she is fine.. I hope…”

“ She is not fine, she needs medical attention urgently…”

“ What’s wrong?” Julius asked

“ Nothing is wrong, Mum is just over reacting over a joke I made” I said trying to shut my mother up…

“ You call killing someone a Joke?”

“ She is planning to kill someone? Who?”

“ I don’t know!”

“ Happy, What is going on?, What is happening?, Did someone hurt you? Tell me who the person is and I will fight that person” Julius said…

I felt like slapping him…

“ Julius, seriously it was a joke, Mum… I can’t kill anyone…” I said laughing

Mum left much later.

I noticed Julius and his sisters were a bit edgy and they were talking in low tones.

My therapist eventually called me with another number three days later and begged to see me….

For those three days I maintained my cool, I had a plan…


“ Happy, Do you know greed is a form a madness or insanity…? When we desire something and we go all out to get it, it pushes us to do things we ordinarily would not want to do…Tell me, What have you done?” My therapist asked me

I broke into tears, knowing the other part of me that was ruled by greed had done so much, the real me was trying to run from the Greedy me.

“ I know, I allowed Greed to push me to this point, I am not insane I am just greedy..I have a confession …..”

“ I am with you “

“I ….,.I……was the one who hired the man who Pastor Maggie dated… I wanted her out of the way, my plan was to make the man decieve her into divorcing the Apostle, but the man had other plans, he duped her and another woman instead.. The good part of me was happy that the greedy part of me didn’t have her way, since Pastor Maggie did not get out of her marriage but little did I know my mum was also up to something, which eventually led to her committing suicide….”

“ When did this greed start?”

“ As far back as I can remember … You know as an only child I always got whatever I asked for, but on getting to the secondary school, I was faced with the harsh reality of not getting everything you desire. That was when I started stealing and craving for other people’s things…

“ Hmm… “

“ This same greed made me pour Acid on Christabel”

“ But since you did all these to marry the Apostle, why did you run away from marrying him when you got the opportunity?”

“ I have two parts to myself, there is the greedy Happiness that is insane and there is the good Happiness that wants to do what is right, and the good Happiness doesn’t want to marry the Apostle so that the greedy part of me doesn’t feel that she has won..” I said crying in total honesty

“ Everyone has two parts to themselves, but what proves our sanity is when we choose to listen to the good voice, so far you have been listening the wrong side of you”

I wept uncontrollably as the reality hit me, the reality that “Any one who lets greed of any kind control them is actually MAD.”

I ended my session with the therapist with a resolution that I was going to confess to the Apostle and make my marriage with Julius work….

However, I got back home to meet an empty house with a note on the floor…

“ It may have worked out between us if you had been patient enough for me to get the money to pay your dowry. As it is, I am however grateful that I didn’t get the money to pay for your dowry because that would have had me tied to a psychiatric patient forever. You and I are not married, as you paid your dowry by yourself. I never paid …, so please feel free to go Marry the Apostle if he is still available… My regards to your mother for hinting me on your plan to kill someone, I know of a doubt, that person is me… Do have a great life, I plan on relocating to Ghana, so don’t bother looking for me…”. Julius….

I wanted to grab something, but there was nothing to grab, instead I screamed so loud I knew everyone in our noisy compound would hear me….

My greed had taken everything from me, My wish and action to be in another woman’s shoe had landed me in shame…

I thought this was the end but….

©️ Opeyemi Ojerinde Akintunde

I was on the floor throwing tantrums, I was using my legs to scatter things, my hands to push things …Why?

I was 8 years old at that time and mum had taken me to the shopping mall to get some groceries. I had seen a beautiful Barbie doll and wanted it at all cost. Those were the days when there were no credit cards, so Mum didn’t have extra cash to pay for the doll.
I wasn’t going to take no for an answer, I fell to the ground and started throwing tantrums at the shopping mall. Mum tried calming me down, explaining to me that she was out of cash and would buy it next time, but it was like pouring kerosene into Fire. I cried the more…

Mum, eventually had to drop some groceries in other to buy the doll. As we got out to the parking lot, an elderly woman walked up to my mother…

“ Ma’am Good Afternoon, I am sorry for interfering, but you need to work on your child. I am sorry, my manners, My name is Mrs Tilewa Brown, I have been a child psychologist for over 30 years. Ma’am you are building a fake life for your child, the life of getting whatever she wants. Now it’s ok, because you are very much around to give her what she wants, but someday as she grows up and leaves home, she might have serious issues letting go of things, she might have other issues which may escalate to a lot of psychological problems , For example, she may later suffer from Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) , which is an anxiety disorder in which people have recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas or sensations (obsessions) that make them feel driven to do something repetitively (compulsions), she might also suffer from….”

“ Madam, please, with all due respect there is nothing wrong with my child, she is just being naughty and for what she has done I will spank her when we get home.. Thanks…”

My mother had walked away,but she didn’t fulfil her word of spanking me. I was the only child and that made me get away with everything I did…

As I sat on the floor in Julius’ empty room, that episode of the shopping mall was what flashed through my mind as the words of that woman finally made sense to me…

Mum had always gotten me everything I ever needed, which explains why she went to that extent of wanting to get me Apostle, but a time had come that I was not with her, so she couldn’t get me Julius back…

“What Next?” Was the bell ringing in my head, as I laid down on the concrete floor of Julius’ house. I couldn’t go back to my parents.

“My mother will mock me badly” I thought silently….

“ Julius I will kill you the day I ever set my eyes on you…You were just smarter than I was this time around”… I said as I started throwing tantrums like a child once again. This was one of my habits since I was a little child, I always threw tantrums when denied anything, but here was I with no Mum to give me what I wanted…

“ What do I really want?” I asked myself and I couldn’t find the answer…

For the first time since I was a little child, I decided to be calm to know what I really wanted…

“ Did I really love Apostle?”

“ No….” the answer screamed very loudly in my heart…

“ So why did I go all out to get him?”

“ Greed!… I just always have my eye on anything that isn’t mine” I said truthfully to myself

“ I am sorry, God, I am really sorry…, please forgive me, for the Spirit of Greed that has ruled my life since I was a little kid.. You know whenever I don’t get what I want , my body begins to vibrate, I throw tantrums, but I didn’t know it will lead me here… God, you know I am a good girl, I am sorry for wishing to be in Pastor Maggie’s shoe, I didn’t know the devil was around eavesdropping on my wish.. I am sorry Lord… I will confess my bad deeds and I am ready to face the consequences of my actions”

“ You are forgiven” I heard a voice behind me

As I turned around, I didn’t see anyone, I became scared. I jumped up from the floor, looked out through the window, I saw no one… I became suddenly cold, but then I heard again…

“ But you have to enter her shoes, You wished for it, and your wish has been approved.” The voice was so loud and real. I didn’t know whether it was God or the devil who spoke or the insane voices in my head. I ran out of the house and started running…

I walked, and I kept walking for close to 3 hours before I found myself in front of Apostle’s church…

“ How did I get here?” I asked myself. I was standing at the entrance of the church looking lost When I heard a loud horn behind me. I turned to check who it was, it was Apostle.

The security men rushed to open the gate, I moved away from his front to make way for him to drive into the church compound. The moment he parked his vehicle, he got down in a rush, asking the security to tell me to come in…I saw a beautiful lady alighting from his car.

As I walked towards him, I knew what I wanted to do. I was going to spill the beans and tell him everything….

“ Happy, What is wrong?” Apostle asked as he looked at how dirty I was looking

“ Can I see you privately?” I said referring to the presence of the lady as a problem…

“ You can tell me whatever, the problem is, this is Chaba, she is my fiancée, she is a South African”

“ What?…Was this Apostle ok? It was barely months he was saying God told him I was his wife, Did God quickly change his mind?…A fiancée from South Africa?”

I said Hi to her and said calmly

“ You are welcome ma, but I insist sir, that I need to speak to you privately”

Apostle didn’t agree to have his fiancée leave, so I decided to spill the beans. He told us to go with him to the office…There was something about his new Fiancée that wasn’t right, but I couldn’t place my finger on it…


“ Julius has left me, and I am not surprised because I am medically insane, also I want to let you know, I have a hand in Pastor Maggie’s death, not directly but through my actions, also I was the one who poured Acid on Christabel’s face… That’s all”

Apostle and His fiancée were so shocked that they looked speechlessly at me…