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Part 41
NWALA ; THE BITTERSWEET STORY
Opeyemi Akintunde
We got back home and the atmosphere was tensed. I saw that Reuben was trying hard to smile. He would ask me a few times, if I was okay. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. It was obvious he was doing the same. There were a lot of unspoken words in between us.
My Mum and my mother-in-law had come to stay with us. Likewise, there were a lot of unspoken words hanging in the air.
The fair-skinned baby was a loud baby, he was very expressive. He was always screaming, while Reuben’s baby was very quiet. He would only cry a little if he was hungry.
This made everyone love Reuben’s baby. My mother and my mother-in-law were quick to carry Reuben’s baby, but they were quick to call Daniel’s baby “Cry cry baby and overpossesive of me”
During the pregnancy, we had decided to give the boys: Amos and Hezekiah. Amos means CARRIED BY GOD, while HEZEKIAH means YAHWEH STRENGTHENS. With the Choice of name, Reuben was saying the babies would be carried by God as He strengthens me to carry to term and deliver.
‘This Amos(First baby) would not let his mother rest ooo” My mother-in-law had said.
“Yes ooo, he will be a trouble-maker” My mother had said. I could sense hidden resentment.
“Mummy, he would not be trouble maker in Jesus name” Reuben would always defend the baby…
Reuben did something strange that made me suspect that he already knew Amos was not his son.
Reuben insisted he didn’t want a loud naming ceremony. I read more into that. He also told me he didn’t want the babies’ pictures out there. I knew he was trying to hide them because that was not the plans we had before delivery.
When I was pr€gnant, he had boasted of how he was going to post the pictures of his sons on his social media handle.
My once chatty husband became a man of few words, he loved Hezekiah (his own son), while he struggled to love Amos. There were days I caught him carrying Amos in his hands and staring deeply at him, like he was trying to study everything about him.
One day, I walked in on him in the act, I stood by the door looking at him without saying anything, but yet saying so much.
He stared at me without saying anything. I couldn’t answer his question, I knew he was indirectly asking me if Amos was his son…
Followed was another moment of silence, he looked at me hoping I would say something, but I didn’t have the strength to say what needed to be said.
He also could not bear to ask me directly, but there was someone else who did, apart from Amara…
Your Guess is right!
Mother Bear…
My mother waited for the babies to be three months old, before she brought up the obvious hanging issue.
My mother had stayed with me for the three months, while my mother-in-law visited from time-to-time. So the night before she left, she asked to speak with me pr!vately. I had dreaded this conversation but I knew it was going to happen. I decided to cut to the chase.
“Amos is Daniel’s son, I had s€x with him once, I went to him to reverse any curse he placed on me” I quickly supplied before my mother asked
My mother’s tongue was tied, instead the wells from my eyes were opened. She sat back into the chair and wept like a child…
I knelt down in tears saying all sorts but my mother didn’t utter a word. Her tears said enough.
“Mummy I am sorry, now I can see why you preferred Reuben to Daniel, truly Daniel is a broken evil man, now he has shattered my life, forgive me and pray for me not to lose Reuben, because I think Reuben suspects something is not right”
I kept on blabbing and after about forty five minutes of my mother’s tears of pain, she stood up and left the house without saying a word.
*****
The babies were crying and I was crying. Amos’ voice was just like his father’s voice, screaming and demanding for attention, while Hezekiah was crying quietly calling patiently for me like his father…
I was not in the frame of mind to answer either of them, I just wanted to die…
Reuben walked in on us, he looked at me sobbing and the children crying… He rushed to carry both of them rocking them…
“Beauty, what is it?” he asked
“I want to die”
“Why?’
“God is punishing me”
“For what”
“For trying to help him”
“Tell me the truth, what did you do?”
“The truth?’ I asked him because I knew the truth was going to break him
“Yes… The truth… Remember, I have always told you, that I gat you… Tell me the truth you know I want to hear” He said.
Part 42
NWALA ; THE BITTERSWEET STORY
Opeyemi Akintunde
No matter how saved a man is, No matter how Godly a man is, there is the part of FLESH in him.
I told Reuben everything, leaving no detail out. When I got to the part of having int€rcours€ with Daniel, his hands could not carry the babies anymore, he dropped them.
I told him about the medical explanation of how it was possible for me to father the twins from different fathers.
Reuben wept like a child. I was too afraid to go close to him…
‘That explains the love you started having for me after you realized he was a beast after all?” Reuben summed it up
“Beauty, I gave you my life, I gave you ME! I loved you, yet I was not good enough. You weren’t enjoying int€rcours€ with me, so you had to go back to Daniel!” He said
“I didn’t go back to him, because I loved him, I went back for him to reverse the curse” I said sobbing
“Nwala, I thought you would bring beauty to my life, but you have brought sweetness mixed with bitterness”.
Reuben picked up Hezekiah and left the room.
I was blank, I didn’t know what his action meant.
******
In the next two weeks that followed my confession, I saw less of Reuben. He was not eating at home. He only came home to sle€p. He had returned Hezekiah to me some hours after he took him that day;He had been crying for food.
Whenever I tried to speak with Reuben, he would raise his hand to tell me he wasn’t interested. The only time I saw him laugh was when he was playing with his son. I longed for his smile, I longed for his embrace of peace, but I wasn’t getting it.
My mother had shut me out of her life, and she warned me to keep my evil to myself. She had called me one Sunday evening after service.
“Hello” She said coldly
“Hello mummy, thank you for calling me after so long” I said
“I am calling to warn you, please do not let your siblings hear the evil you have done, keep it to yourself before you rub your disgrace on them”. She had ended the call abruptly.
From time to time, Bishop would call to greet me. We also had unspoken words in the air between us. I had questions I needed to ask.
The only person I was in touch with and could call any day was Amara…
“Amara, is it wrong for me to pray that Amos should die. His presence in my life is the absence of peace and joy in my life”
“Don’t add murder to your list of crimes” Amara had scolded me
“What can I do to get back my Reuben, My Reuben is gone, His soul is hurt and far away from me” I said weeping bitterly.
“You keep apologizing and praying for mercy. Commit his heart to God, and try to win him back s€xually”
Instead of implementing Amara’s advise from the first, I decided to start from the last…
*****
One evening, I had pampered and soaked myself in a fragrant filled bath. It was a fragrance that stimulated desire. Reuben walked into our master bedroom. He was familiar with the fragrance. I had used it a few times, like on his birthday and our wedding anniversary… In our marriage, I had treated Reuben as a child who got good int€rcours€ as a special treat.
“What is happening?” Reuben asked very angrily when he walked in on me in a very skimpy wear…
“Babe, I have missed you” I said stupidly because the facial reaction I got from Reuben showed that what I just uttered was pure stupidity.
“You missed me… Beauty…? Tell me who did you miss? the stupid Reuben who thought if I kept loving you, you would one day love me back… Tell me? The Reuben who you made love to like you were doing him a favour? Tell me Beauty? Which Reuben are you missing? The one who you made love to sweetly for the first time in years after you made love to the love of your life… Thinking about it, I only got to enjoy love making with you, because Daniel had satisfied you. No wonder, your womb could not stand having my child as your first. My child had to come second, because I am just the man you married because the one you loved was not good husband material…
Nwala… Because I love God I won’t have a divorce, and because I can’t stand you facing public shame; it would kill me, I would want us to see each other as neighbors. We are separated but still living together.
I will take care of everything that has to do with you and my son, but for Daniel’s son I don’t want to have anything to do with him, and most importantly, This! You were about to do with me… DON’’T YOU EVER BRING IT UP AGAIN…”
The life of living as a single married woman started for me.
There were times I was tempted with the thought to kill Amos, but the fear of God would not let me.
Reuben and I lived like housemates for a year. When the boys were about to turn 1 year old, I decided to pay my father-in-law a pr!vate meeting at his office.
CLICK HERE TO READ “NWALA ; THE BITTERSWEET STORY” (PART 43&44) – OPEYEMI AKINTUNDE.
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