“MARRIED BUT NO SEX”
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‘Sis Rose, I didn’t marry you because of sex, I married you because I love you.
Love is the basis for our union and not sex. I didn’t tell you all these because I love you with all my heart.
Don’t push me to sleep with you if you don’t know the reason why I don’t want to sleep with you. You must have been thinking of many things in your mind like; if I am impotent or over-spiritual. I am not impotent neither am I over-spiritual. I am a complete man and will prove that in no time if you are patient.
You could remember the last time we traveled to your place for our wedding introduction and the four hours meeting I had with your parents and the elders in your clan? Did you notice I came out of the meeting moody and unhappy? You remember you asked me what was it we discussed for that long without you in the meeting? You also remember I had a 30 minutes meeting with your dad later that
night?’ ‘Yes I remember everything you mentioned’, she replied.
What does that have to do with you not performing your conjugal obligation as my husband? If you are not impotent, prove it now and spare me all of these questions? I am not in court neither am I facing an elders council.
The only language I understand now is Sex! Sex! Sex! And nothing but sex. When people marry, it is normal for them to be anxious to devour themselves especially if they have not done it before. What I expect you to do now is to remove my pant and bra and make me feel like a woman and not tell me stories. I didn’t marry you to tell me stories, I married you so you can make me a real woman.
Since you have decided to make me unhappy at my supposed honeymoon, you will never know happiness in your life. May God give you 100 fold of the pain you have caused me on the day of my joy. The scripture says, “defraud not one another” but you have defrauded me, may God pay you back all you have done to me.’ Sis Rose, while in tears rained curses on her newly wedded husband.
‘Sis Rose, are you cursing me? What have I done to warrant these terrible curses you just landed on me when you have not given me room to explain myself. I wish you could be patient enough to listen to me.’ She interjected him, to listen to what? Who will listen to a half-man like you? Who will listen to a man who cannot make love to his wife, 24 hours after the wedding.
Who will listen to an impotent man like you? Why she was naming him and renaming him with disgusting names, his phone rang. It was a call from his guests who had waited tirelessly for him. Bro Solo where are you? This is 10 minutes to 12 noon. He checked the wall clock and he remembered if his guests stay in the hotel beyond 12 that means a full payment for a day. He picked his bunch of keys and rushed out without seeking his wife’s consent anymore
By the time he got to the hotel it was 16 minutes past 12. ‘You are welcome sir the hotel clerk greeted him with a scheduled bill of N85,000 for his guests for another day. But I am here to check them out, I am sorry for coming late. As you can see I just wedded and have lots to attend to. Please cancel the bill because they are not staying any further.’ ‘I am sorry that is not possible sir, it’s a policy we don’t have control over. Even if they are not going to stay further you have to pay for exceeding the stipulated
time of 12 noon.’ ‘
O my God, this is not fair’ he protested! ‘But we told you before they checked in. We also stated it clearly in our guest handbook.’ He rushed back to the house to pick from the money people sprayed them at their wedding reception. He got home and found the door slightly jammed. He rushed in and went for the money bag but it was not there again. ‘Where are you dear?’ No response! ‘Sis Rose, where are you? Where is the money bag we kept here?’ The absolute silence caused him to look round the house just to see a note on his bed.
“This is to tell you I have gone for good. I cannot live with a chameleon and an impotent man like you. Don’t look for me until you find solution to your impotence. I have carried my box and the money they sprayed us at the wedding. While you continue your prayer meeting, I am going to sleep with any man who is willing to make me feel like a woman.
God bless you Mr prayer warrior”. Rose. Are you still guessing?
“MARRIED BUT NO SEX”
This is to tell you I have gone for good. I cannot live with a chameleon and an impotent man like you. Don’t look for me until you find solution to your impotence.
I have carried my box and the money they sprayed us at the wedding. While you continue your prayer meeting, I am going to sleep with any man who is willing to make me feel like a woman.
God bless you Mr prayer warrior”. Rose.
Bro Solo read the note with tears in his eyes. His marriage of one day just disappeared into thin air in a jiffy. ‘Where could she have gone? Why didn’t she give me just a little time to explain myself. Who will help me tell Sis Rose how much I love her? Who will help me tell her she’s more important to me than
sex?’ He put a call through to some people, first to her father. Please sir did you hear from my wife? His father-in-law was embarrassed by such a question.
‘How can you ask me such a question when she’s supposed to be with you? I hope nothing bad has happened to my daughter? Isn’t she supposed to be with you?’ He kept mum for a while until his father-in-law asked him again, ‘where is my daughter?’ ‘She is…….’ ‘She is what?’ The man asked with angry voice.
‘Sir we had a little argument and she left the house without my knowledge.’ ‘Oh, is it over that issue? But you promised me you could handle it. You told me you are a Christian and your God can take care of it. I hope you haven’t broken the rules?’
‘No sir,’ Bro Solo replied. He tried to call other people just to know if he could have an idea about where she has gone to but everyone he called was in shock – how could a bride of barely 1 day leave her husband’s house without his knowledge? Everyone, friends and family became all confused and started making contacts to know the whereabouts of Sis Rose.
His problems became more complex as calls were coming in from the hotel for him to settle the bills of his guests. They accused him of abandoning them because he couldn’t leave his wife just to sort them out. His heart became bitter when he knew he had no N85,000 to settle his guests hotel bill. While he was thinking of what to do, his pastor’s call came in. ‘How are you Bro Solo, I hope you are back from Jerusalem now?
How did you feel with your wife? I already know you felt very high.
Was that your first time?’ The pastor sensed something was wrong when Bro
Solo did not answer any of his numerous questions. ‘Bro Solo are you there?’ ‘Yes daddy, just that…..’ ‘Just that what?’ ‘Sir
I will be coming to the office to explain to you.’ He immediately went to pastor’s office. ‘Sir, she has gone, your daughter has gone.’ The pastor was a bit confused and he asked, ‘gone to where?’ While he was trying to ask further questions he gave him the note from Sis Rose. After the pastor read it he was embarrassed. You mean you didn’t touch her?
‘Hmmmm…… ,’ Bro Solo exclaimed. ‘Sir, you remember I told you I will see you immediately after our wedding?’ ‘Yes I remember, what is it?’ ‘Sir it is a long story but I will summarize everything now. My wife thought I am impotent but I am not. You think I am a virgin but I am not. I impregnated a girl before when I was in secondary school but we lost the baby after three months.
Sis Rose have not been able to get married all this while because there is a generational tradition in her family. She lost her three sisters over this tradition after their husbands slept with them after marriage. The taboo of this tradition is that any man who marry their daughters must not have sexual intercourse with them until after one year of their marriage. Her sisters who took the tradition for granted lost their lives instantly but nothing happened to the men.
This was the reason for the four hours meeting I had with her parents and the elders on our introduction day. All the men who came to asked her hand in marriage quietly quit on hearing this terrible tradition but I gave them my word that I will stay with her for that one year without sex while we consult you for further prayers and deliverance session knowing fully well that we can break this generational curse with prayers, but how long is one year of sexual denial if it is the price for the life of my wife? Why won’t I wait for one year if I could abstain from sex for 14 years.
Unfortunately Sis Rose never gave me the opportunity to prove my love to her. If I had slept with her yesterday she would have been dead by now. I agreed to go into the one year marriage without sex with her because I love her.’ The pastor was dumbfounded and felt very sorry for judging him wrongly. ‘How else can a man love his wife than this?’
1. Always give an opportunity for people to explain themselves regardless of the gravity of their offense.
2. Don’t be quick to judge people when you don’t know their intentions.
3. Don’t be in hurry to quit. What is your advice for them?
Thanks for following this story. I hope you enjoyed it.
Story Written By: AYODELE ADEOYE
Published By: Ifeoluwa ORISAKAHUNSI