©️Opeyemi Ojerinde Akintunde

After Isoken left my home, I was not the same again, heavy guilt poured on me, I sat down to evaluate my life and marriage, If my husband backslided and was no more as spiritual as he was, “ Can I be like ISOKEN? Can I drop all my ministerial engagements and responsibilities to make sure he gets back on his feet….

Isoken was treating her husband like a lost child whose mother was willing to do anything for in order to have him back. She was playing the fool, I was not sure I could do that even though I was a marriage Counsellor. Just as I was ruminating over all these, my husband walked in and I ran towards him in guilt like a prodigal wife.

“ Honey, Welcome….” I took his bag from him, an action I had done in a very long time , probably years back.

My husband was a good man who never stressed me, he didn’t mind cooking for himself when I am far away on “ministerial Journey” …At that point I knew I had not been fair to him…

After he settled down on the bed as he kept looking at me strangely suspecting something was up with me…

“ Betty, What’s wrong? , What about the children? Are they fine? “ He asked looking very disturbed. Due to my busy schedule, We had agreed to have the girls in the boarding school.

“ They are fine , I just need to ask you some questions”

Surprisingly my husband moved away from me and placed his hand on his head like someone who had been caught doing something… I wasn’t sure why but I asked my question that was born out of guilt…

“ Henry, I want you to be honest, have I been a good wife to you, I hope I have not made anything more important than you, I hope you are not hurting?”

I did not know what came over me as I kept blabbing, my husband was giving me a look I wasn’t comfortable with, he moved farther away from me…

“ Who told you?” He asked

“ Nobody, I just figured out I had been too involved with my life matters and I was not fulfilling my wifely duties”

“ Kemi told you, I knew she was going to…Betty, I am sorry, I let this happen. I didn’t want to disturb you or be an opposition to What God was doing with you. Honestly we just started as casual friends, but since she is a widow, She started misinterpreting my compassion towards her, and one thing led to another…. Betty, I don’t know how I fell in love with her, but the Truth is I love you more than I love her…, I knew kemi was going to tell you after she saw Margaret and I at the hospital ….”

“ Margaret! Who was Margaret .. No one close to us bore that name!” I thought very quickly

It looked like my life was crumbling…I was saying one thing and My husband Henry was saying another thing confessing about a woman I didn’t even know existed….I almost passed out, but I needed to be sure I was hearing him correctly….

“ So what are you really saying?” I asked

“ I don’t want a divorce, I still love you, but I don’t know how it happened, I feel something for her also and we have gone too far for me to hurt her…” he said on his knees

“Could someone wake up from this terrible nightmare, If I was hearing my husband correctly, he had a mistress who is a widow. He was in love with her and couldn’t leave her….”

Whose case was worse, Isoken’s husband who had turned her into a veiled woman to hide her smiles, or my very wonderful husband who had suddenly taken away my smile…. which I didn’t know if I was ever going to get it back….Then he said it again…

“ I can’t lose you Betty, You are my first love but I love her too, she has become a lover and most importantly a friend I can’t lose or hurt, She has helped me through a lot, We have been together for close to a year, there are things you could not help me with, which I totally understand is because of your busy ministerial schedule, but Margaret has been there. For instance, she is the one helping me with my poultry business, She Is a good person I can’t hurt”

I died and woke up, a million times over….How? My husband was in an affair for close to a year and I never suspected….It was official, This was the end of my smile….Now, whose case was worse? Mine or Isoken?

©️Opeyemi O. Akintunde

For days, I couldn’t sleep, I cried till my eyes were tearing up on their own because It never would have crossed my mind that my husband was cheating on me….How? I thought I was the perfect wife. I knew and had taught several women the 100 LAWS of keeping a good marriage, but what happened to mine…? I thought I had kept Henry where I wanted him to be.

Henry however was prostrating at any given opportunity telling me he was sorry, he was just lonely and he didn’t know how it happened with the widow..

All he could say was that, they had met on a flight to Abuja. She was reading one of my motivational books and out of pride, he told her that was his Wife…

That was where they exchanged contacts and from there the rest is history….

All my teachings about getting your man back came back at me but at that moment they seem useless….

The painful part of the issue was the part where he said, he couldn’t stop seeing her and yet he wasn’t ready to let go of me either…. How could a man be telling his wife of 15 years, he was in love with another woman ; a widow with two kids for that matter!

All that was coming out of my mouth was “ Ha!, Ha!” and if someone was able to check my Blood pressure at some point, I am sure they would have called me a living dead….

I saw Isoken’s calls for days but I couldn’t pick up…I couldn’t take my bath for three days. On the third day while still trying to recover from the shock with Henry cuddling me still asking for my forgiveness, his phone rang….

“ Hello Margaret, Good morning…..” there was a long pause and then he said” I am on my way”….

I turned with a questioning look

“ I am sorry Betty, one of her sons just fell ill and you know she is a widow , I have to help her” Henry literally flew out of the house

It felt like someone hit me on the head with a big sledge hammer of reality…. My husband was gone, gone from me and gone from God…

My options were clear, It was either I give up on the marriage and continue my marriage ministry but this time around my message was going to change so as to hide my shame. Now, I could validate divorce


Better still I could get over it and accept the fact that my husband had a mistress that could become his wife anytime soon..because the night before that day Henry had said something that shook me to my marrow. His statement made me know, this mistress was going no where, she had found a comfortable space in my husband’s heart.

The night before, out of feminine rage , I started cursing the mistress when I was talking to Henry…

“ Henry, I can’t believe you did this, I know that lady bewitched you, she must be a witch, can’t you see, Who knows ?, maybe she was the one who killed her husband and you are the next targ….”

“ Stop it, Betty, Don’t let me turn this table against you, I don’t want you to ever insult her, curse her or say anything negative about her and don’t even try praying against her, because if anything happens to her, I will know you caused it and I am telling you for a fact, I will so hurt you….”

My mouth was so wide a full egg could have entered at once….Now, not only did my husband have a mistress but a mistress he was ready to hurt his wife for if anything happened to the mistress….

So with this situation, Which of the options is best for me…

Divorce him, move on with my life and know that my ministry would not preach the message I believed God gave me that “ God hates Divorce”

Just stay in the marriage, pretend all was well even though my husband had a mistress somewhere and keep preaching Godly marriages….

What do you think?