How to choose the right marriage partner (Part 7) The place of prayer – Gloria Bamiloye
Please don’t read this if you have not read the first part. Read Part 6 here!
THE PLACE OF PRAYER
If someone will marry right ,he or she must not joke with prayer .and if any marriage relationship will experience God’s kind of love ,there is.need for serious prayer too.
Prayer to me is like a way of relating with our father in heaven . If we find it easy to relate with our earthy father, It should not be difficult to also relate with our Father in heaven . Some people see prayer as a religion activities that must be observed ,and so they see God as one old man sitting in the sky that must be appease with some rituals before he give them audience .
But our God desires relationship. He wants to be so close to us and that is why Jesus came to give us easy access to God . The disciples saw this in Jesus ,they saw the cordial relationship that exist between Christ and.God , They saw how he related with God when he was on earth. and they covet the grace .
They saw how Jesus called God Father with ease . And they saw how God easily answered his prayers without stress . This was different from the way they were thought by their religious leaders .
They asked Jesus to teach them how to pray .and Jesus answered , Matthew 6:9 s 9After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name….
Jesus made it clear to them that God is our Father and that they must develop relationship with God before they can enjoy talking to him
That was what Christ came to give us ,he came to give us power to become the sons of God
John 1:12. But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
You will become his child when you believe Jesus and you give your life to him .The spirit of God (which is the nature of God) will come upon you and you will be transformed . Your inner man will be quickened, you will be conscious of his presence and when he talks you will hear in your spirit because you are a spirit being and your spirit now carry the nature of God
Jesus wants you to know that God is your Father and you are free to talk to him because the greatest thing he desires from you is to love him and to develop a relationship with him.He is interested in every thing that concerns you ,and He also wants to guide you through life so you can fulfill your purpose because he knows. that you have one enemy (satan ) who hates you .
That. is what prayer means . It means relationship with your heavenly father because he wants you for himself alone. He is a. jealous God. Communication is a sign of healthy relationship and that is the best way to build a relationship with God . The road to his presence will be clear and smooth as you communicate with God regularly and you will become God’s friend . Proverbs 18:24. . A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly… As you humble yourself to know more about him in his word ,(taking time to study the scripture ,the Bible) you will get closer to him and you will be surprised at the way God answers the prayers of his children
Psalm 138:6 Though the Lord be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off.
WHY SOME PRAYERS ARE NOT ANSWERED
HYPO CRISY. AND DECEIT
God hates deceit or hypocrisy . He wants you to come into his presence as you are . He wants you to trust him to help you even if you have missed it or messed up. When the prodigal son came back to his father ,he did not reject him . He welcome him back home with joy . That must always be your attitude . You. can confide in this your Father and he will be very much ready to cover you and remove your shame .
But many could not receive God’s backing because they are not open to Him .Psalm 18:25-26. With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright;  With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; and with the froward thou wilt shew thyself froward.
You must not forget that ,God is a spirit ,he sees your heart and he checks every thing that goes on in your heart . He will answers you according to the state of your heart before him Jeremiah 17:10. I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doing s.
when you respect and honour God with your life. He will be happy with you and also honor you in return . when you desire to walk in your way or when you make up your mind to do your will different from God’s will,he may not answer your prayer. Some people already settled in their heart the person they want as marriage partners before coming to God
. God says he will answer such people according to the idol of their heart . Ezekiel 14:4. Therefore speak unto them, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God ; Every man of the house of Israel that setteth up his idols in his heart, and putteth the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face, and cometh to the prophet; I the Lord will answer him that cometh according to the multitude of his idols;
When you are praying for a marriage partner ,your heart must be empty before God ,you must trust him completely to direct you because if you have concluded in your heart to marry someone without asking for God’s leading, God will answer you according to the idol of your hearth because you are not sincere in his presence . Proverbs 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
LACK OF PATIENCE
Another reason some may not receive answer to their prayers concerning the right marriage partner may be because they are not patient . They wants it fast and you cannot hurry God. When it comes to the issue of marriage partner ,God will work on you first to make you a better partner . So when it seems he is quiet ,he is working on you to prepare and perfect your life .
Butt many jumped out of God’s way ,thinking God is too slow to answer and they landed in trouble Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint .
God delay some people’s prayer because ,they are not mature enough .Some may be matured in age but babies spiritualLy and God will want them matured because of his purpose for their lives .Maturity therefore may not be about age ,but how deep your relationship with God . With God in you ,you can face the world without fear . Marriage is a ministry that you need God by your side and inside of you to run because It is God’s institution not man made thing . Many intellectual people with the wisdom they have acquired failed in their marriages because they did not acknowledge God
Some people’s motive for getting married is totally different from the purpose of God . Some just want to marry to satisfy their lustful desire and they latter become bored and jump out of the union .
James 4:3 KJVS Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
God may delay such people in other to bring them into maturity because marriage is not only about you but about what God plans to do through your union.That is the reason you must know your father and develop a strong relationship with him so you can have a right marriage partner and a very fulfilling marriage.
TELL GOD YOUR PROBLEM
You must be opened to God, and tell him what you are passing through, don’t hide your feeling from him . he loves to help you. Its amazing how many people keep away things from God . Some people forgot that God is a spirit and he knows all things .They pretended as if everything is okay .God knows everything about you including what you don’t know about yourself. But he wants you to open up and ask for his help
I once experienced a situation like that when I was single and was seeking the face of God concerning a brother I desired to marry (ever before I knew my husband ) I so much allowed him into my life and we became friends without asking to know if he was the will of God for my life or not . May be because he perfectly fit in to my expectation .
I was afraid to pray because I did not want God to say NO to my desire . I was faced with a serious battle and confusion in my heart because of the constant check I received from the HolySpirit . It was as if I was hiding the relationship from God and God was waiting for me to open up to him for help.
When I could not run again ,I opened up to God in tears to help me ,I told him everything ,I told him that I sincerely loved the brother and I desired to marry him but I wanted to know his will concerning the brother .
That same night I dreamt and I saw the brother coming to our house to visit me . I went to meet him on the way and started talking to him saying ..’ ,I would have married you ,but I love God and I want to serve him and I don’t want anyone to hinder me from serving Him .”. Immediately i said that ,I woke up and the holy spirit.began to tell me the meaning of the dream and its implication
He said to me that I can marry the brother if that is what I desire ( since he is a child of God as well. ) Then He said ,but what he wanted to do through me will be hindered.
I got the message,It means God was preparing for something I was not aware of .
Now I have a choice either to marry the brother and missed the plan of God for my life or wait for whoever God will bring latter . At this time ,I knew nothing about drama. ministry .I was in choir in my church ,but God knew what he wanted do with my life even when I have no idea .
After that prayer, God gave me strength to believe His word and to rest in him. My prayer life changed , I began to ask him to give me someone that love God and with whom I will serve. Him . I now understanding better what marriage means
I also received strength to wait and be patient before God until l. was fully convinced of the right person he would bring latter. Some came latter to proposed but I was strong in the spirit to know they are not God’s will for me
I was not in haste since I was sure he would alert me when the right person comes.
All this was possible because I involved God and I opened up to him for help and he did help me . Even though I loved the brother but we are not meant for each other . He is a pastor in a church now , but my calling is to the world. I did not know all this but he helped me in the place of prayer to wait and be patient till I was matured to know his plan for my life
When you are walking with God ,you must learn to trust him and be patient and you will not miss His plan for your life.
BE NOT ANXIOUS
4:6-7 KJVS Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
As a child of God ,you should not be afraid or anxious about who to marry because anxiety will make you miss the perfect will of God ,it will reduce your blessing and your manifestation.
God knows the right helper you need
.That is why you must be patient and wait on God in prayer to be sure of your marriage partner . The more you seek the face of God ,the more you know his will and plan for your life .
God did not ask you to look around for wife or husband. but to seek him and his kingdom . That is what God ask you to do ,that is what he told the singles brothers and sisters to do. To take care of God’s thing ( 1corinthians. 7:32 ). and in the process they will discover his purpose for their lives .
You are not to stay idle because there are gifts in you ,you can use to serve God. Be involved in God’s service and be useful and you will discover your purpose in the process. I was in the at times to clean the sanctuary and latter joined the drama just to serve God until I discovered that I have greater passion for drama.
You can’t be going around churches and fellowship and make impact . You must. Pray to know where God wants you to belong and stay there and serve faithfully . Some will leave where God has planted them because they feel no one is matured to marry them in such congregation ,You have forgotten that your father owns he world . And he can bring your husband or wife from anywhere as long as the person loves and know your God .
God has many sons and daughters and When your ways please him ,you will find the right person .
Discover your passion and your vision and go for it. Do not wait till you get somebody to marry before you start to be useful ,start now and be committed ,be focused and be fruitful and keep reminding God in your prayer to give you someone that will serve God with you, and the person will meet you there inside the wok . God will do the connection .