Love is essential in relationship because God himself is love . If God will be in the center of any marriage union, the couple must walk in love.
What then is the place of love in the choice of marriage partner?
Some say that love is a sign or a pointer to the will of God. As this may sound to be true, because it is not always common to approach or propose to somebody you don’t love or have feeling for but at the same time. It is important to desire very strongly the will of God (who is the real love .)
When the Bible says God is love, it means love is spiritual because God is a spirit.
This kind of love that emanate from God goes beyond your feeling or infatuation, it is deep and sacrificial. It is unconditional love and that is God kind of love which you need the help of God to have and to give
It is therefore very difficult for a person without Jesus to give this kind of love nor someone who is not rooted in Christ. You need to submit to Christ and crucify the flesh before you can adequately give this God kind of love .That is the kind of love God gives his children.
2 Timothy 1:7. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
The heart of man is difficult to trust because the Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9-10 ,The heart is deceitful above all things , and desperately wicked: who can know it?  I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.
If every relationship is born out of love,then why the separation between husband and wife ,why the divorce and why cheating on each other . Why is it difficult to forgive, why all the pain in many relationship and marriage union today even among those who claim to know the Lord and got married in the house of God
This is because many of the relationship are not base on true love, the God kind of love .The heart of man is deceitful above all things and terribly wicked ,and who can know it except God . You don’t even know your heart until you bring your heart to the light of the word of God . .That is why you don”t choose your marriage partner base on the love or affection you think you have towards someone only. Definitely you have affection towards the person before you think you should propose to her ,or to accept his proposal But being in love is not enough to know that the person is the will,of God . .
This is because the.will of God. at times may not be somebody you hope to marry . You may desire tall and light skin brother or sister only to end up getting married. to. someone different from your expectation .
When your desire is outside the will of God ,or it’s only base on your understanding ,you may find it very difficult to accept God’s will for your life .That is why it is important to submit your heart and your desire to God.and don’t depend on your understanding because you are a man and still in the flesh and blood .
Your motivational factor to propose. to a lady or accept any man’s proposal must be the will of God . Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Failure to trust in God’s leading motivate them to start dating
Dating is the attempt to know the person.before you propose . As in, to study and to know if they can get along well or to check if they are compatible before they finally proposed .All these are the wisdom of man which have no solid foundation. because you cannot fully know a man except God who created man…The heart of man is desperately wicked .
If choosing a marriage partner is only by love ,Isaac would have followed her father’s servant to pick a wife for himself among the daughters in his father’s land and family .But what did Abraham said to his servant concerning Isaac ,his son:
Genesis 24:2,4,7 KJVS And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:… But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.  The Lord God of heaven, which took me from my father’s house,… he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.
Isaac. did not go with the man to see and choose whoever he loved as wife ,he did not know who they will pick for him, but he and his father trusted God to give the right lady to Isaac .
SO IT IS NOT ABOUT YOUR FEELING BUT THE WILL OF GOD
This is because you don’t really know what you want,
you don’t know your future but. God who made you knows everything about ,both your present and your future . He therefore knows what is best for your life if you can trust him. That was what Isaac did .
THE WILL OF GOD. ,ACCEPT. AND. LOVE
Genesis 24:67 . And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death .
Isaac with all his heart accepted the provision of God for his life by bringing the lady into his mother’s tent .and she married her and she became his wife . Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing , and obtaineth favour of the Lord .
Isaac received God’s favor because he saw everything he desired in Rebecca and he loved her .
Real love will always flow easily when you discover and accept the will of God for your life . This kind of love cannot be explained by words of mouth . It is deep and very strong ,it is from within, from the real man . It is nor superficial . It comes from God ,it is the gift of God for his children who desire and accept His will for their lives
I remember when God convinced me of the man I was to marry . It never for once cross my mind that I will settle with such a man because I didn’t have special feeling for him despite the fact that we were in the same ministry of drama ,I only respected him as a man of God . It was therefore a surprised to me when he proposed to marry me. I didn’t know what to say and I did not initially took the matter serious.
After I was latter convinced, of the will of God and I accepted to marry him ,I still found it very difficult to have any special affection or feeling for him .
I remember I prayed and told God to help me to love the brother and God did it .
There was a day he came visiting and as he entered ,it was as if I saw a different person ,he look so handsome and perfect ,that I did’t know when I voiced out and said ,’ You look handsome and very perfect. ( May be I did’t have words to describe what I saw in him that day) . He was surprised and asked who I was talking about ,I said you of course. He was quiet,. unable to say anything because he was surprised at what I said about him . He saw a new me, he saw that my reaction towards him changed and I was happy and grateful..
That is God kind of love and I think God enabled me to experience it after accepting His will with thanks given. This kind of love cannot be explained with the word of mouth ,it is real and very deep .it goes beyond the physical ,it comes from your spirit ,the real man .
It is important you accept God’s will for your life even when the person is below your expectation because. God knows you better than you think you know yourself. And he has prepared the person for you by putting in him or her everything you desire in a marriage partner , even when you can’t see anything special about the person
Ordinarily you cannot appreciate raw gold if you see it because it looks like sand and you may be tempted to throw it away if you are ignorant of its worth. That was how many have rejected and threw away their gold because the person has no physical beauty to behold
And do you know God always have alternative because nothing catches him unaware, and in most cases. the alternative is always far better .That is why He is God. No man can delay or hinder his plan from coming to pass.
If I have rejected. God’s will and refused to accept the brother ,God would have provided another better person for him because He is God . And who knows may be I was one of the alternative ,because some have rejected his proposal before I came into the scene
That is why I know I experienced that God kind of love because I accepted his will for my life . That was the love Isaac have for Rebecca. when he accepted her as his wife ( the will of God ) And that is the love the woman in proverb 31 ,the virtuous woman have for her husband . .
Proverbs 31:10-12 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
The will of God must come first in the choice of a marriage partner ,and love will follow . You must determine like Isaac and Rebecca to RECEIVE AND ACCEPT the will of God and you will experience the genuine love that comes from above because. God will baptize the union with His love .
- How to choose the right marriage partner – Gloria Bamiloye
- How to choose the right marriage partner (Part 2)– Gloria Bamiloye
- How to choose the right marriage partner (Part 3) – Gloria Bamiloye
- Gloria Bamiloye writes explicitly on “The place of prayer when choosing the right marriage partner”
- “The place of faith” when choosing the right marriage partner – Gloria Bamiloye
- “Don’t marry a lazy brother, even if he is serving God in the ministry full time” Gloria Bamiloye warns single sisters