After everything concerning the proposal is finalized and settled from both side, the next thing is courtship. Courtship is the period in which a relationship is developed between couples especially with the view of marriage.
It is the time to prepare for the journey, the time to discover the purpose of coming together and the time to know your partner and to know yourself as well. It is the time of a more in depth understanding about yourself and this is majorly because you will begin to hear from your partner some traits you were not aware of about yourself as you relate with one another.
It is also an important time to know your partner whom you will eventually spend the rest of your life with… Know who is he and the work is he doing (secular or spiritual ). It is not advisable to marry someone who has no work. And if he is working, you must be curious to know the type of work he is doing.
Don’t marry a lazy brother, even if he is serving God in the ministry full time. it is still not an excuse for him to be walking around aimlessly doing nothing . Some brothers claim to be in God”s service but they are not stable because they lack vision. They are not committed to any vision but they can tell the story of all ministers of God in town who have made it in their ministries. Instead of digging their land of possession (vision), all what they do is to keep dreaming on the same spot.
It is dangerous marrying such a person. He is not known for anything… He is jack of all trade master of nothing. You have to be very careful before you commit yourself to such a visionless man. He will waste your life and your future because he does not know where is going.
My parents did not want me to marry my husband because he has no secular job that can bring in steady income. But I knew he was very busy and very committed to his vision. I saw a man who does not play with his work in the ministry, very focused and very determined to become what God said he would be in life and in ministry. If he was not on ministerial field working, he would be at home studying the word and praying or writing scripts. He was busy digging the vision and he eventually hit the gold.
That you are on full time is not an excuse for you to be jobless, it is laziness. Once you notice that in your partner and nothing change, you need to retrace your step because it will be difficult to fulfill your purpose in life with such a man Adam was busy working in the garden before the Lord provided a helper for him. If you are lazy as a man, you don’t need a helper. You must look into this while in courtship.
Courtship is still a moment of watching to know if God has prospered your way. That is, to know if you have actually chosen the right partner. When the servant of Abraham was asking God concerning the lady God had prepared for Isaac, he gave some conditions which the lady eventually fulfilled. But as the lady was moving up and down to draw water for them and the camels, the servant of Abraham was watching the lady patiently to be sure if she was the right person because he was not yet certain if the lady was from the family of Abraham from where Abraham commanded him to bring a wife for his son.
Genesis 24:21 KJVS
 And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the Lord had made his journey prosperous or not.
The servant of Abraham walked in the spirit and he partnered with God on this crucial assignment by allowing God to handle it from the beginning. It is very important you don’t lose guard In courtship. You still need to be sensitive spiritually to everything around you. You must be opened in your spirit at this time to know if you have actually received from the Lord. Your vision, your interest, your desire .are things you must check as you move together, most especially your vision because it is your life.
Love is not blind as some say and so courtship is a time to open wide you’re physical and spiritual eyes to know if God has made your journey prosperous. It is time to check if the person you want to marry is interested in your calling and vision. For example he or she may not be gifted in the area of your calling the way you are, but he will be interested in helping, encouraging and assisting you. He /she will not discourage you from fulfilling your visions and dreams.
Another thing to be conscious of is the clash of interest due to individual differences most especially due to your different backgrounds. These may cause friction and misunderstanding. This is when your choice is tested.
When the servant of Abraham got to the family of Rebecca and everything was settled, he asked them to release the lady for him so he could be on his way back. The parents were reluctant to release her that fast unless the lady was ready.
Genesis 24:57-58 KJVS
 And they said, We will call the damsel, and enquire at her mouth.  And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go.
She was willing and ready to follow because she believed the choice of God for her life without seeing the man. Rebecca followed by faith. Rebecca submitted to the will of God. She did not ask the servant to bring the man to her land, which was contrary to what Abraham told his servant when he asked Abraham what he was to do if the lady was unwilling to go with him.
Genesis 24:5-6 KJVS
And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest?
 And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again.
God had prepared Rebecca and she was willing to follow. Whoever God prepares for you as a wife will be ready to follow you to fulfill the plan of God. She will also be ready to accept you despite your differences and will be ready to agree and support you. The agreement begins with submission to one another. It starts from how you are able to handle your differences.
WRITTEN BY: GLORIA BAMILOYE (INSTAGRAM)
Published on this website By: Ifeoluwa ORISAKAHUNSI
- How to choose the right marriage partner – Gloria Bamiloye
- How to choose the right marriage partner (Part 2)– Gloria Bamiloye
- How to choose the right marriage partner (Part 3) – Gloria Bamiloye
- How to choose the right marriage partner (Part 6) – Gloria Bamiloye
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- #Explicit: Gloria Bamiloye reveals the best time to make or accept marriage proposal