BROKEN HEDGE (Part 15&16) – TOYIN TAIWO
I ran everywhere for help, I kept getting the same answer.
“Your husband is gone forever” that is what I get from all the herbalists.
One even said. “If you try to harm him, you will just loose your life”
That God me scared but still I will find another way. I decided to go to my village. My mother has a friend who can help. I know the woman as powers like mother. But unfortunately when I got there I was told the woman had travelled.
Command Secondary School, Ikeja, gave me tough time. I was asked to fill a form after I’ve been interrogated for more than an hour. I was told to come back the next day.
I was really disappointed because I thought I’ll see Amara that very day.
I went back to the h0tel sad. I just lay on my bed thinking about her and the child the Pastor confirmed I had with her. My memory was completely back. I remembered how much we loved each other back then. Flashes of her beautiful face came into my brain. My brains still has it in it’s archived. Her smile and everything but Beatrice stole those beautiful moments. The man who married her would be the most happiest man on earth. What do you want from a woman that she doesn’t have. She’s homely, hard working, she’s even godly. She was against premarital s€x but the love I have for her was so mind blowing that I had to do everything possible to have s€x with her.
She didn’t agree at first but the temptation was so much that she later obliged. She was a virgin and that make me go crazy for her. I had promised to adore her for the rest of my life but here I’m I. I remembered she told me that, that will be our first and last s€x until we get married and I agreed. I agreed because I was rest assured that she was all mine. I never knew I already planted my seed in her.
If truly I have a child, a daughter. I know she will take after her mother. I know Amara will raise her well. I know she will be beautiful inside and out like her mother.
Not like Beatrice’s children, they are sons of belial. The three of them, not one is even manageable. The atrocities they’ve committed is not even up to the one Prophet Eli’s sons committed in the Bible (Hophni and Phinehas) before God k!lled them. I read that from my bible, I don’t joke with it this days.
Anyway what kind of children do you expect a wicked soul like their Beatrice to produce. I was happy when she lost her witch of a mother. I know they both join hands together to bewitch me. I thank God for his intervention, even though it’s late but I know it’s not too late. Amara’s forgiveness will make me a free man and whole again.
I heard a knock on the door, I stood up to get, it was room service, a staff from the laundry brought in my clothes.
I later ordered for dinner, ate and slept, hoping for a better luck the next day.
The next day my cab man picked me up. We’ve really gotten along well within the week. It was a Friday, I was on native, same with him.
We discussed on politics on our way to the school. I already have my hopes up that I’ll meet Amara that very day.
I got to the school and I was told the man who attended to me is not around. I waited till 1am, the school closed and the staff start leaving their office one after the other.
One of the staff told me that there’s no point waiting, since the school has closed then there’s no chances that he’ll be coming back to the office.
My eyes turned red immediately, I was close to tears but I’m a man, I had to comport myself. The man noticed my devastating state. He told me to come back on Monday, that he’ll personally help me himself because from the look of things his colleague is not willing to help. I thanked him and left.
I entered the cab and my driver already knew without saying a word that the outcome was negative.
“You will find her by God’s grace” he said soberly.
I already told him the story of my life so he understands where I’m coming from.
“Thank you, let’s go” I said.
“If you find her easily, you won’t thank God very well, infact you will think it’s your doing. As a matter of fact this is a sign that things we later turn out well”
“You are a Christian, you know all things work together for good for them that love God, so just relax”
“Ok, thanks for those words, I need it right now”
“God who has helped us to this stage will complete the rest”
“Thank you… it’s just that I don’t know anyone here, I’ll just lock up myself in the h0tel all through the weekend”
“That one is not an issue. I can come pick you up tomorrow and on Sunday, I’ll take you to church, I don’t work on Sundays, but I’ll gladly render my services and before you know it, Monday is here” he said smiling.
“What happens to work tomorrow, if you decide to come and keep me company all day”
“It’s the blessing of God that makes one rich” he said
I liked him the more immediately he altered that statement. He’s so selfless, imagine he was putting my needs before his.
“You really amazed me, I thought they say Lagosians don’t joke with money”
“Like my mother use to say, money will go, but human being will remain”
“Hmm! You are right. By the way I never asked for your name, I’m very sorry about that”
“No problem sir”
“So what’s the name of my new friend?”
“We have a Nigerian player that bears that name.
“I’m from the East, I’m not good with yoruba names”
“No problem sir, people call me Oba for short”
“Oba…as in King”
“Good, you can call me Afam but it’s Afamefuna in full.
“I’ll go with Afam too sir” he said and we both laughed.
“So what happens to the cab tomorrow?”
“I’ll give the cab to another driver tomorrow to use, so the cab won’t be idle” he said.
“That’s better, I think I like that, I’ll be expecting you tomorrow then”
We got to the h0tel, I paid him. “Good night Oba”
“Good night Daddy Afam” he said and he promised to come the next day.
I heard a knock on my door, the next day, It was quarter past 10. I knew it was Oba. I opened the door to him, gave him a handshake and ushered him in.
“This h0tel room is fine, I know it’s an expensive h0tel but I don’t know that the inside is this beautiful” he said still standing in awe.
“Yea, its nice. Have your seat Oba”
“Daddy Afam, you have spent much o, the h0tel, transport and all. By God’s grace everything won’t be in vain. You will return home with joy”
“Amen, thank you”
Oba sure knows how to keep someone’s company. We talked about so many things. I couldn’t believe I could open up to a stranger, even those who knew me Enugu did not know my story. I told him the sweet memories I had with Amara. I told him about my supposed ex-wife, who turn out to be my wife unknowingly to me.
He also told me about himself and his family. I ordered food and drinks and we ate while having our chit chat. Despite the fact that he’s a driver, he’s so intelligent and smart.
He left around 8pm and he came back on Sunday morning to take me to his church. It was an English speaking church, so I understand perfectly well. I can’t believe he attends a church like that. Considering the caliber of rich people that attends the church.
After service, he suggested we go out to have fun but I declined knowing fully well that I’m not in Lagos to catch fun. He took me back to the h0tel but he didn’t wait long this time, he left around 5pm. I saw him off to his car downstairs. I handed #10,000 but he refused to take it. He opened the car and I quickly throw the envelope inside his car before he left. He really amazed me I must confess.
I was back in my room preparing my mind for the task ahead the next day.
The next morning, Oba and I set out. We got to Command secondary school and went to the office of the man who offered to help, he already showed me his office on Friday. I did not even bother to check the other one who disappointment me.
We exchanged greetings and we get down to business. I gave him the necessary details he needed and he left to God knows where.
40minutes later, he came back to the office.
“How did it go, were you able to find something?” I asked with the hope of getting a positive answer.
“It wasn’t easy at first, infact I was told to refer you to Lagos State ministry of education. Which will take a longer process. Luckily I was able to get hold of her file”
“Good” I said with a smile.
“She got transferred four years ago. She was transferred to Lagos State Baptist Academy, Obanikoro” he said and I quickly jotted it down.
“Thanks you so much my brother, I really appreciate your help” I said offering him an handshake.
“You are welcomed sir” he said. I dipped my hand into my pocket and brought out five #1,000 notes, I gave it to him and he thanked me. I hurried back to the car.
“Oba, here…here, check out the name of the school”
“I finished from this school sir. I also know someone who teaches there presently, she could be of help” He said smiling.
“Nice one, now let’s move” I said and he turned on the ignition.
On our way to Obanikoro, Oba said the last time he stepped the school was 16 years ago when he went to collect his testimonial.
We found our way into the school. Oba called the teacher who gave him the description to staff room. He took me to the staff room to meet with the teacher.
“Good morning Mrs. Shofela” He bowed and greeted the woman. I greeted her too.
“Good morning Obafemi, to what do I owe this surprise” she asked smiling.
“Actually ma, it’s my boss that needs your help. Please We need to locate a teacher that was transferred here 4years ago ma”
“Four years ago! The person might still be here because this is my fourth year as well”
“We thought as much too” I said.
“Don’t you have her contact like her phone number, you can even locate people on social media platforms this days”
“It’s a long story madam, we lost contact many years ago and I doubt if she’s on social media because I’ve already tried that”
“So what’s the person’s name?” She asked and I gave her the name.
“Wow! We share the same staff room, here is her seat” she said pointing to her desk. But she has a class now, so I suggest you wait for her”
“Thank you ma” Oba and I chorused filled with excitement.
She called a student to get us a sit and we sat outside the staffroom.
30minutes later the woman came out of the staffroom and told us she has a class too, so she left.
She came back and still met us in the staffroom.
“Is she not back yet?”
“She’s not” I replied
“Are you sure you didn’t miss her when she entered the staffroom?” Mrs Shofela asked.
“Not at all, my gazed did not shift from this entrance” I said.
“Ok, let me check myself” she went in and came out.
“She’s not on seat, the other teachers said she hasn’t return since”
“I told you so” I said.
“Wait let me give her a call” She said and started tapping her Android phone.
“Hello ma, where are you. You have a visitor here at the staffroom”……..”Ok, I’ll tell them”……..”Good night, see you tomorrow ma” We didn’t hear from the receiver end.
She turned to us when he was through with the call.
“I’m sorry, she had already left, some of her students have a competition in a private school and she volunteered to go with them to cheer them on”
“We can still wait” I said.
“You can’t sir, she won’t be coming back to school, the competition ends by 5pm, the school will be closed by then. That means from there she’s going home”
“Ma…can you give us her number ma” Oba asked.
“Oba if she wanted me to, she would have told me so on phone”
“Her house address ” Oba asked, he was really worried for me.
“That’s uncalled for, I only know you, I don’t know him and you expect me to give her home address to a stranger. No I can’t”
“Don’t mind him madam, you’ve done a lot already, we’ll just come back tomorrow”
“Better sir, what’s the name so I can tell her tomorrow morning?”
“Like I said earlier, my name may not ring a bell. I prefer meeting her one on one first”
“Ok then, see you tomorrow. Oba and I will come back tomorrow too”
“Yes by God’s grace”
“Ok, and when do you plan visiting my children Oba. They miss you o”
“It’s work ma, but I’ll try and visit one of this days. My regards to them”
We thanked her and left. We got into the car. I sighed deeply and buried my face in my palm. I don’t know where the tears came from. I knew God is punishing me.
“Daddy AFAM…..why nau…. Not at this stage, we are close” He now addressed me as Daddy Afam.
“I know we are close to seeing her, still I couldn’t reach her, imagine we we’re in the same place with her today and still I didn’t meet her”
“Put yourself together sir, let’s be thankful we locate this place. We are already close to seeing her and by tomorrow, we will be here even before the school assembly starts”
“Thank you… For everything Oba, you are more than my Chauffeur.
“It’s ok, just put yourself together. Can we go now?”
“Yes, I nodded” And he drove off.
We got to the h0tel around 2pm and Oba followed me to my room. He made sure I showered. He called room service and ordered for food without even asking me. I was so devastated.
He made me eat, I told him I won’t if he didn’t join me. So we ate together.
It was already 4pm and he’s not even ready to leave.
“Oba, I was only told I have a lost daughter, do I also have a lost son, see the way you treat me like your own biological father” I asked him going by the way treats me.
He smiled. “It is not only the man you came out of his loins you can regards as father. It is vice versa, you didn’t treat me like a driver as well.
“More so at this stage you need someone to be strong for you and I’m willing to do that”
“Thank you and I appreciate everything, but I think you need to go and work now”
“You’ve already pay for the day, that’s enough. Let me just stay here and keep your company. Since you refused to go out to have fun” He said crossing his legs.
“Thank you, your type is really rare, God bless the womb that carried you” I said and patted his back.
The TV was on, we watch the news together and some other programs before I slept off.
By the time I woke up, he was gone. I just pee took a glass of water and went back to sleep.
The next morning around 7am, I got a call from Oba. He was already waiting for me inside the h0tel compound.
I prayed and committed the day into God’s hands before I left the room.
We got to Lagos State Baptist Academy Obanikoro by 8:05 the place was not far from the h0tel. Oba called Mrs. Shofela the woman who helped us the previous day, informing her, that we are around. She said we should go and wait at the staff room.
We waited in the staff room as she said. The teachers came in, some gisting, some we’re taking their breakfast neither Amara or Mrs. Shofela showed up. Oba called her, to ask after Amara and she said she has first and second period class but she’ll be at the staffroom, after that.
“Daddy Afam, let’s just wait, at most two hours she’ll be through” he said to calm me.
Then she showed up, she was as beautiful as ever, age took nothing from her beautiful. It’s like she grew beautiful as she aged. I recognized her immediately I sighted her.
She was coming with two students, they were chatting and smiling with her, she was still sweet, even sweet to her student not Beatrice the sadist who only laugh once in blue moon.
We saw her entered into the staffroom without noticing us. We we’re now standing at the entrance of the staff room, one of the teachers told us to wait outside.
“I was told someone is waiting for me” she said to one of the teachers and I heard her loud and clear because I was already standing at the entrance.
“The people looking for you are outside, didn’t you see them?” One of the teachers replied her.
“Don’t mind me jare, it’s this my students that got me carried away with their gist”
“You and this your children, they are already in SSS 3 and are still attached to you like this, they will miss you when they pass out”
“I will miss them too” she said hugging the one standing next to her.
“I plan to visit her every weekend once I pass out” One other student said and they all laughed.
“One of you should go and get my visitors. Then you can go back to your class” She instructed.
A student came outside and asked if we were the one waiting to see their teacher. I told her to tell her, I’ll prefer to meet her out here. The student left to relay the message.
Then she came out and I got cold feet when she came face to face with me. Our eyes met eye ball to eye ball. I stood before her ashamed of myself.
I longed for weeks now to meet her, now that I do, I couldn’t face her. She definitely recognized me but she didn’t say a word.
Oba took a cue and excused us. “I’ll be in the car sir” he said and left.
“Amara… I said close to tears.
“Afam, how did you find me?”
“It’s a long story”
“Why are you here, and what do you want from me?”
“Please, can we talk?”
“I asked you a question?”
“Let’s find somewhere to talk please”
“I have work to do, look” she pointed at some students. “They came for me, we are in the middle of a competition and I’m the supervisor in charge”
“Good morning ma, we are ready ma” one of the students said.
“Ok, I’ll join you shortly” she informed them and they left.
“Ok, can I have 10minutes?” I asked.
“Let’s look for a place to talk, please… just hear me out”
“Ok, we can talk inside my car”
She led the way and I followed her to the parking lot where are car was parked.
Inside the car, I was first speechless but I later summoned the courage to talk.
“How are you doing?”
“Very well, thank you”
“We are doing great”
“Good. Amara, please I’m here to ask for your forgiveness, that is all I want from you”
“Forgiveness!” She smiled.
“I know I’ve wrong you Amara, I did the most ridiculous thing any man could do to a woman. I know many years as gone by but I’m truly sorry”
“I regret everything I did but I’m deeply sorry, sorry can’t fix it but just forgive”
“I’ve forgiven you a long time ago”
“Amara, I know….
“Your time is up, you can now leave. I need to be with my students”
“Since you are busy right now, I’ll wait for you at the staffroom”
“Why? You said you need forgiveness and I said you already have it. Just go please”
“Amara, I’ll wait. You know we still have a lot to talk about”
I came down from the car, and she drove out of my sight.
I called Oba and told him I’ll be waiting for Amara at the staff room.
Hours later, the school closed. All the teachers and students were already leaving the school premises. Amara didn’t show up. I asked one of the teachers, he said she’ll still come to the staff room to pick her things before going home.
By the time I looked around the school was almost empty. I realized she’s no longer coming back as one of the prefect who has a tag ‘labor prefect’ on her uniform came to lock up the staff. I left the staff room sadly. I decided to come back the next day and try if I can make I speak with me. I got to the space where Oba parked and I couldn’t find him or the car. I looked around to make sure that I was at the right parking space. I checked other parking space, he wasn’t there.
I totally lost control of myself. First, Amara left and now Oba with the car. When I calmed down, my reasoning came back. I brought out my phone and called him.
“Oba where are you for God sake! I already had a bad day don’t worsen it by keeping me waiting here!”
“I’m sorry Daddy Afam but you’ll have to get yourself another cab that will take you to the h0tel” he said and hung up.
I hurriedly ended the call so as not to be distracted. I carefully followed the car but the car parked in front of a shopping mall. I parked too. I kept on following. After like one hour, the car stopped in front of a house, I later discovered that they are having a naming ceremony, I was there for more than two hours. Then the car owner left the place and I followed the car. Then it stop in front of a church. Thank God I had a full tank. I waited for another one and half hours. I was hungry and tired at the same time. Daddy Afam called again. I just hope he found his way back to the h0tel. I didn’t pick it. His calls were distracting me so I put off the phone and dump it beside me. Imagined I almost miss the car, the car just drove out of the church compound. I quickly overtook. some vehicles so I could catch up.
I carefully followed the car to it’s final destination. I looked around a bit then wrote down the address. I made sure I wasn’t spotted.
I was really tired but I need to see Daddy Afam. I turned back and headed for the h0tel but unfortunately I got stucked in traffic for more than two hours. I almost cried, I hitted my hands continuously on the steering. I knew Daddy Afam will seriously be angry with me. I picked my phone to call him. Then I remembered it was off. I put it on and tried calling but he’s not number was switched off.
“God! What have I done” I hit my forehead hard with my hand.
I should I’ve told him my movement but I had little time to talk, so I won’t be distracted.
At last I got to my one room apartment around 10pm. I already bought bread while in traffic. I just fried egg and ate. I didn’t derive any satisfaction in the food, I only ate to fill my stomach. I was thinking of how much I hurt Daddy Afam today.
I took my bath and slept promising myself that I’ll be the first person he’ll see the next day.
I had to leave school when I was through with the students I was supervising without going back to the staff room. I knew Afam will be waiting for me there, reason why I left.
After my long engagement for the day, I got home tired and stressed out not from the activities but because of the man who showed up into my life after so many years. I don’t know what he wants, he had his family, so I don’t know why he was looking for me. He came all the way from Enugu to Lagos just to ask for my forgiveness. I’m a Christian and we are to forgive those who trespassed against us if we want God to forgive us. I have forgiven him but I don’t want him in my life or in the life of my daughter. She managed to do well without him.
“God, I didn’t see this coming” I muttered. I’m very sure, he’ll come back to school tomorrow but I won’t give him any audience.
I was busy making my dinner when Crystal came back from work. She came into the kitchen to greet me.
“Welcome my dear, how’s work today?”
“Did you attend the christening?”
“Yes, I did. It was nice”
“Good, let me boil rice for myself” she said.
Don’t worry I made extra semo, you can eat that” I said.
“Thanks mum, Let me set the table” She dished the food and we settle down to eat.
“Mum, you barely touched your food, are you ok?” Crystal pointed out.
“I’m fine, I think I’m just too stressed out to eat”
“Mummy try and take little, so you won’t sleep on empty stomach” she advised.
I ate little and told her to clear the dishes. I told her I want to going to bed, so we said our night prayer while I left her in the sitting room.
That night I just went straight to my room. I can’t believe I set my eyes on Afam after 27years. He showed up today after all this years. I wept and wept. Seeing him brought back so many memories. The pain and all. He shouldn’t have come looking for me. My daughter grew up without father. She’s doing well and she doesn’t need him.
I knelt down to pray before I sleeping. I was praying and crying at the same time.
“Oh God you see my heart, I’ve forgiven Afam but God why….why…. Why did he showed up at this time” I said aloud.
Then I heard a still voice.
“I expected you to have ask me questions over this issue, years ago” God spoke.
“I’m sorry God, I was still naive then, I thought I have no right to question you knowing fully well that I got myself into the mess. If I didn’t fornicate, he wont get me pregnant”
“But I have forgiven you!”
“I know but I thought it was my punishment”
“No it’s not. You should have asked me the reason why he left”
“Lord, I thought I already knew the reason, he had a wife and kid”
“That is not the reason why he left you. But don’t worry you’ll find out soon”
“Peace!” and the voice faded.
I thank God for speaking to me because I really felt that peace that I already loosed for hours. I stood up from where I was kneeling. Freshened up and slept.
I woke up as early as 5:00am, I washed my car and set out straight to the h0tel. The receptionist is now familiar with me, so I was allowed in without questioning. They knew I take him out everyday. By 6am I was in front of his h0tel room knocking. I’m sure he was awake he already told me he’s an early riser.
“I don’t need a room service” he said out loud.
I brought out my phone and called him. He didn’t pick at first but he picked the second time.
“Daddy Afam, it’s me. Please open the door sir” I pleaded.
He opened the door and went back to the bed and lie down.
“I’m very sorry for what happened yesterday”
“Do you know what I went through yesterday, Amara stood me up. You also left me all alone, you didn’t tell me your whereabouts. You just vanish into thin air, and you know I don’t know anywhere in Lagos” he poured out his mind.
“I’m very sorry sir I….
“Sorry! Oba! You disappointed me”
“Just hear me out sir”
“I was in the car yesterday, still waiting for you. Then I saw the woman you said you are waiting for in the staffroom. She drove pass me and I was like is this not the person you are waiting for? Then I quickly start the car and followed her. I followed her to the mall where she went to pick a gift. From there I followed her to a house where they are having christening. And from there she went to church for mid week service and from there to her house”
“You actually followed her to her house?”
“Yes, I now know where she’s staying”
“Oba!!! What will I do without you, I told you, you are my son, just don’t know how I misplaced you” he said and gave me a bear hug.
“What next Oba” He asked curiously.
“We won’t go to school again, you’ll meet her in her home instead”
“Thank you very much, but if she doesn’t want to see me…
“Hmm…….I said shaking my head. “You have to be positive, you are a Christian, have faith. Pray and commit her hearts into God’s hands” I advised.
We decided to go to her house the next day.
We left the h0tel and went in search of Amara the next day. Oba advised we go in the afternoon. I asked what if she didn’t go home straight like the other time he followed her. He said we have no other choice than to wait for her at her house.
By 3:30pm we were already in her area. We parked the car in a free space very close to the house. So from there we could easily see her when she comes. Oba already know the color of her car and the plate number.
We waited till 5:00pm, she didn’t show up. “Maybe she had already arrived before we got there or maybe she didn’t use her car or how come did we miss her” I said to Oba”
“You are right sir, let me go and find out but I’m sure we didn’t miss her” he said and left the car. I followed him too. He knocked at the gate and the gateman opened. We both greeted him.
“Please, we want to see the woman who lives in this house”
“She’s not back, she dey expect you?” The gateman queried.
“Not really, please when will she comes back?” Oba asked.
“She say she wan go revival when she commot from work. Me I no know when she go come back” he replied in pidgin.
“Ok then, thank you”
“Wetin be your name make I tell her when she come back?”
“Don’t worry about our names, we are still around” Oba replied.
We returned to the car to wait and by 7:00pm we went back to find out if she was back. The gateman told us she’s not yet back. While we were still talking with the gateman, a car horned behind us.
“Excuse me, na small madam be that, make I open gate” he said and went to open the big gate from the inside.
A young lady drove past us into the compound. The gateman came back few minutes later.
“I don tell small madam say some people they look for big Mummy, she dey come” he said and stood aside.
The young lady who looked exactly like Amara stepped outside the gate.
“Good evening sirs, I was told you came to see my mum” said the young lady.
“Yes, we are actually waiting for her” I said.
“Is she expecting you?”
“No she’s not” Oba replied.
“I came to see her for something very important” I said.
“I’ve not seen this faces before what’s the name, you can as well drop a message for her”
“My name is Afamefuna, I came all the way from Enugu, please I need to see your mother”
“A….fa….me….funa! Enugu! Wow! Now I get it. I’ve been trying to place your face, I’ve seen a younger version of this face before. Hold on” she said.
“Saburi go and get my things from my car and take them inside. Thanks” she instructed the gateman who obeyed. I guessed she didn’t want the gateman to hear what’s she’s about to say next. And my guess was right.
Then she turned to me. “I think I know who you are but you are the last thing my mum wants to ever set her eyes on” She said with a straight face.
“Miss…..Oba cut in.
“Excuse me, it’s very obvious I wasn’t talking to you, so please stay out of this”
She shifted her gaze back to me.
“Look at this house again for the last time. Never come back here again or I’ll have you arrested. She never needed you before and she doesn’t need you now. So pack your things and return to where you came from. The last time I heard your gist, you were supposed to be happily married, so go back to your family and stay away from her. Thank you, good bye” she grinned and slammed the gate.
I and Oba looked at each other. We didn’t say a word we just went straight to the car. I got inside the car and placed my hands on my temple. My whole body system was already distabilized. We were in the car for another ten minutes.
“Sir, let’s leave this place” I urge him to go ahead. We left and he took me back to the h0tel.
Oba tried all comforting words on me to calm me but it all fell on deaf ears. I thought if I can ever have a chance around Amara again. That girl is sure her daughter but she should at least help me but I can’t blame her. Amara would have told all her children how cruel I was to her. Oba left and for the very first time in my life, I wished I was never born into this world. I failed the woman I loved with the whole of my heart. Her love had turned to hate, that is sure.
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God bless you